


Unseen Art

by blue_assassin



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Depression, Feels, Hope, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oh yea, Sad, Scars, Self Harm, Trigger Warnings, and a bit of Solangelo, hope it's not trash, self eteem issues, worthlessness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:20:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24402709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_assassin/pseuds/blue_assassin
Summary: Based off this poem:I knew a boy who liked to draw.He drew pictures nobody saw.He was more artistic at night,In the bathroom out of sight.He kept a secret nobody knew,he didn't tell a soul, and his gallery grew.His drawings were different, no paper or penbut needed a bandage now and again.We stood by the river under the stars,he rolled up his sleeves and showed me his scars.He felt embarrassedand looked down at his shoe, then I rolled up my sleeves and said, "I draw too."Trigger Warnings! Self harm, depression, suicidal thoughts
Relationships: Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Comments: 18
Kudos: 64





	Unseen Art

**Author's Note:**

> Salve!  
> I'm going to be real blunt here even though I also said this in the summary (one can never be too careful) because this fic really hits close to home for me. There are direct mentions of self harm, depression, and suicide in this fic. If anything like that bothers you AT ALL please please plase do not read this. Mental illness is a very serious thing and should not be taken lightly. If you or someone you know is suffering because of it, please tell someone. A bit of embarassement and fear is not worth your life. If you need any kind words or encouragement see the endnotes for a little something to help out.

When you're young, care free and aloof from the world, people tell you life is great. That you grow up, do some great stuff, then you die and it's off on another adventure. They make you think life is easy that life is perfect in every way. But there are things about life they don't tell you, too. They don't tell you about the hurt or the heartache, the sorrow and despair. They don't tell you that you might spend nights crying yourself to sleep, or sitting against the bathroom door, blade in hand, as blood pooled in your palm. They don't tell you that life isn't all sunshine and rainbows. No. They leave you to find out yourself, sometimes in worse ways than others.

Nico di Angelo strode through the forest one evening thinking this very thing. Had anyone told him he would suffer through Tartarus alone? Had anyone thought to mention that he would be gay, or that he would have to struggle for years to come to terms with it? Had anyone bothered to mention that his life would make even the goddess of misery recoil? Of course not. They had let him find out on his own step by agonizing step.

Nico looked up through the trees at the fading sun above him, and sighed almost contentedly. Here, in the cold shadows, he thrived. Barely. The blackness and shroud covered him in soothing nothingness. Covered his demons. In the dark, he lived and breathed. In the dark, the tormenting ashes of his life couldn't fall to bury him in numbing despair.

He pulled out the small blade he always kept with him and stared at it without really seeing it. There was time, he thought, when he wasn't like this. When he believed the balant lies people told him. When he didn't have to hide the angry lines on his forearms from the world.

But that version of himself, if it had ever existed in the first place, was gone. Now, when he looked in the mirror, he did not see a boy. No, he saw a shattered being. Barely human, barely alive. Consumed by the darkness he tried to rule.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nico sat on his bed, staring at the blade in his hands. Thoughts, painful thoughts, swirled like a hurricane in his head as he gazed numbly at the cold steel. What could he do with the blade against his skin, cutting open his pale flesh and letting crimson blood flow over the surface? It would sting, it always did, but at least it would give him a distraction to push back his corruptive thoughts.

It would be beautiful, the contrast of the blood aganst his skin. He could make art with his body. With his blood.

Part of him knew this was not true, that his art was far from beautiful, but he didn't care. He looked t the scars on his arms, the gallery he had created for himself in pain and release. He brought the knife to his wrist as he had so many times before, and was about to draw it across his skin when a familiar voice called, "Nico? You ready to go, sunshine?"

Fear coursed though him as he shoved his sleeves down and stuffed th blade back into his pocket. He opened the door, trying to make himself seem normal as Will grinned at him.

"What's up?" Will asked, pulling him close and placing soft kiss on his cheek, "You wanted to talk?"

This walk he was going on with Will, it would be the perfect time to tell him everything. The knife, the blood, the scar. Everything. That was the reason he had asked to do this in the first place. But he wasn't ready to talk. Not yet.

Nico shook his head and took Will's hand, "Not here. I'll tell you when we get to the river."

So they started walking, talking about nothing and everything. Nico told Will about his practice match with Percy, and Will told him all about his doctor-y nerd stuff. Soon, it was more Will talking than both of them, but Nico didn't mind. It gave him time to think about what he was about to do. How would Will react? Would he still love him? Or would he hate him and cast him aside like so many others? Nico hoped it wasn't the latter. He wasn't sure he could handle it if it was.

But the damage was already done. They were already at the creek where he and Will had come to talk on multiple occasions. Will went silent as they sat down on the banks, staring at the night sky above them. Nico knew Will was waiting or him to make the first move so, after drawing in a deep breath, he sat up, pulling his legs to his chest and looking over at his boyfriend.

"Will, do you ever get bad days?" he asked timidly.

He smiled grimly, "Of course. More than I care to admit."

Nico nodded, "And if...someoneyou knew had bad days too..and did," he gulped, "some...not awesome stuff because of it...would you still love them?"

Will turned to Nico,"What makes you say that?"

Nico fiddled with th sleeves of his jacket, knowing what was hidden underneath, "I just..I...w-well..." He sighed, tears welling in his eyes. Letting out a puff of breath, he slowly pushed up his sleeves to his elbows and extended his arms toward Will.

"I'm sorry." he muttered quickly.

Will stared in shock at the stripework of scars, some old, some new, on Nico's arms. Even after he turned away to stare down at his shoes in shame, Will gaped at the wonerful boy in front of him who had done such terrible things to himself.

"I know you must hate me now." Nico said, his voice raw and choked with emotion. Tears, shining in the moonlight, fell down his face, "That's oky, I don't blame you. But you deserved to know and..." he choked back sob, "a-and I'm sorry."

Will snappd out of his thoughts, a look of sympathy growing on his face, "Nico." He crawled over to sit in front of his boyfriend, "Look at your cuts." He took one of Nico's hands and pushed up the fabric of his sleeve, running his thumbs softly over Nico's marred wrists, "Look at your scars, and the bruises you gave yourself. Each one of those was a battle with your mind that you lost." 

Nico looked up as Will dropped his sleeve and took his face in his hands like he was the most precious thing in the world, "I'm here for you." He said, "I love you. I don't care if you need to stay up crying all night, or if you just need to sit here and be held until the sun rises. If you need help, I will stay with you. If you need someone to simply care, I will be there for you. You mean more than the world to me, Nico. I love you. I am stronger than depression and braver than lonliness, even when you don't feel like you are, and I will never get tired of being there for you."

"Will," Nico sobbed, tears blurring his vision, "I-"

Will smiled softly, and kissed him gently, "You don't have to do this alone, Nico. You're my boyfriend. I want to help you." He looked down his smile faltering, "Besides, you're not the only one." He shrugged off his jacket and turned up both his arms as the smallest of smiles, a mix of sadness and sympathy, twitched on his face. Nico gasped.

" I do it, too." he whispered.

**Author's Note:**

> If you need some happiness, read this:  
> Hey, beautiful.  
> What you're going through right now is hard, and I want more than anything to reach through the time/space barriers and take that burden from you so you don't hacve to carry it anymore. But I can't. Only you can do that. Only you can tell yourself you're going to be better. It may seem hard, and it may seem like all is lost, but I promise you, you are strong. You are amazing. You are valid. And, most of all, you are LOVED!  
> Things may be dark right now, (I'm not even going to sugar coat it, you're going through some rough times, huh?) but I promise,there is light at the end of this dark hallway you're in right now. You are an amazing individual, no matter what the world thinks! You deserve all the happiness in the world, and you need to know that. I've been where you are, so I know a this may sound like 100% bologna you you right now, but I promise, no matter who you are, every single word of this is true. Every. Single. Word.  
> Now, I may be an author, but I am no where near as good with words as I could be, so I'm going to give you two songs that helped me when I was in a funk. First, "You Will Be Found" From the Dear Evan Hansen soundtrack. This is a perfect song to listen to when you feel alone. The second one is called 'Lullaby' and it's by Nickelback. It's the ultimate power song for when you're feeling down. I hope these help you like they did for me.  
> Now, don't go treating my advice like law though, I am just a kid on the internet. The real help comes from adults who are trained to help kids like us. If you are still feelin' down after this, talk to a trusted adult and get the assistance you need and deserve, then, if you still need it or want it, comment at me below and we can talk if you want, K?
> 
> Ciao, mio cuore!


End file.
